“Don’t waste your time chasing people. Attract them. The people who are meant to be in your life will gravitate towards you without hesitation.”
From birth to death so many of us will spend our lives seeking approval and acceptance from others. We so badly yearn to be liked by the people who surround us and the thought of not being liked can be devastating.
Why do we strive to be liked by everyone? Why do we care so much about what others think of us? I don’t know about you but I feel like I have wasted a lot of my energy on caring what others think…especially those who don’t really matter.
Nobody likes the feeling of rejection; so when we feel any sense of insecurity or doubt in our self we adjust who we are to be liked and socially accepted. We adjust who we are to the crowd we are talking to, the environment we are in and to each and every scenario that comes across our life. As we do that though, we slowly lose our identity and authenticity. As you put on a face and give a shit about what everyone else is thinking you neglect to think for yourself and love yourself for who you are.
Maybe that’s my/our problem; a lack of self love. If we don’t know and love who ; we will continue to be influenced by others and consumed by the need for their approval. It’s hard to develop meaningful relationships with people when we don’t have one with our self first.
As Oscar Wilde puts it – “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
How do we learn to love ourselves and shift our mindset to be at peace with who we are rather than striving to be what everyone else wants us to be? Here’s three question to ask yourself when you find you are chasing someone’s approval and acceptance:
- Why do you care what this person thinks? Is it a friend, family member, colleague or random person in the Target parking lot – whatever the case; why do you care?!
- Will this person be in your life in 1, 5, 10, 20 years? Hint: if they won’t be around long; stop wasting your time.
- Can I be my REAL self around this person? If not, stop working so hard to make THEM happy and comfortable – do you and hang with the people who dig it!
Be yourself and be proud of what inspires you and brings you joy. The people who align with your values and mentality will gravitate towards you – so embrace them – you’ll be a lot happier in the long run.
Cheers to the weekend and cheers to the people in your life who appreciate and love you for who you are.
Embrace the day!
Instagram: @ciaturner & @Friday_Fuel