Friday Fuel! Single greatest impact of having a baby

Happy Friday!

A little over six months ago I had a baby – ya know that cute chunky kid who’s in my E-Mails and insta posts? Yeah, he’s mine. Motherhood has been a wild and wonderful ride so far. I consider myself the luckiest to have such a healthy and happy baby.

From the first trimester, to delivery day  and 6-months post-partum have, without a doubt, been the most challenging yet rewarding times  of my life. I carried, grew and BIRTHED a human. Mind blown.

While the physical component of having a kid was incredibly challenging – and kind of unbelievable when I think about it now – the mental and emotional aspects were far more overwhelming. I think it’s something people don’t talk about much – we are so focused on the physical because that is what we can see. We see a women’s body change as she gets bigger and bigger – what we don’t see is what’s going on inside her head. The combination of hormones, physiological changes and the sheer fear that arises from the responsibility of keeping this tiny human alive in the womb and then out, is a lot to handle. For first time moms, this is combination can make for a real struggle and for me, it was and still is.

I’m six months into motherhood and I can openning  say that I’m learning how to manage all the emotions and feelings of personal responsibility that come along with the role. I felt, and still feel, open and exposed. My child is my greatest joy and my biggest weakness. If something happens to him, it happens to me and deep down I hate that feeling.

As a woman who has always seen herself as strong, independent and self sufficient this is a shock to the system. On any given day I can go through the full specteum of human emotions; from pure joy to shear panic. I am pretty much in a constant state of uncertainty  and frequently feel the need to ask for help. It’s a whole new world for me.

I feel vulnerable.

And this has been the single greatest impact of having a baby; learning how to be vulnerable. Never before have I ever felt more vulnerable than I have over the last year. In fact, it’s fair to say I didn’t know what vulnerability was until having Chase.

For any other mom out there who can relate, this Friday Fuel is for you. It’s okay to feel vulnerable. I’ve been working through it with a little help (okay, A LOT of help) from good friends and the amazing words of Brene Brown.

Brene Brown’s TedX Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability” was recorded in 2010 and has over 32 million views. Yes, that right, 32 MILLION.

Her message…“We need to lean into vulnerability” so that is what I’m trying to do – and not just as a mother but as a wife, a friend, an employee, a human.

My inability to sit with and accept being vulnerable is not a new problem – it’s just one I’ve ignored until now. No one wants to fail or get hurt, feel pain or discomfort. Our bodies are physiologically wired to run from these emotions and situations – our survival mechanisms kick in and we bolt; both mentally and physically. But when we bolt – we miss out on the opportunity to live.

This not only applies to motherhood. I can think back to many times in my life when I ran, ignored or didn’t acknowledge something or someone because it made me vulnerable. Instead of “leaning in” I chose to back off, wayyyyy off.

I’m learning that I need to live and love fully with zero expectations and with the understanding that this life has no guarantees.  What we have today could be gone tomorrow – in very sense. I’m learning to express gratitude and appreciation for my moments of vulnerability because I am alive and that is amazing. And finally, I am learning to embrace imperfection and uncertainty and to talk about it with others (or write about it on a blog 😊)

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only women who feels this way – mother or not. And in some weird way, putting it out into the universe helps me own my vulnerability and make progress. I’ve got a lot of work to do but that’s okay, I’m actually excited about what this experience is bringing to my life and how it will help me live a fuller and more authentic life.

Thanks for reading and here for any of you that might be going through this too!

Embrace the day and all you the vulnerable moments that come along with it!
Christina
Insta: ciaturner
Twitter: CTurner_Strong

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Friday Fuel! Pass on the Positivity

Happy Friday!

It’s a great day to be alive. Yes, again! It’s always a great day to be alive. I choose to believe that everyday.

As you head into this Friday, choose positivity and check out some of the content in today’s Fuel to help you get there. And most importantly, pass the positivity on. Help someone else Fuel their day and get excited to be alive. That’s what life’s about (and why I write Friday Fuel): people. I’m not trying to impart some mind blowing knowledge on you – this isn’t rocket science and I’m not that smart. I’m sharing my journey as a woman, what fuels my day and what inspires me.  My goal: to spread good vibes and empower you to embrace each and every day.

We shouldn’t just sit with our positivity and happiness alone. We should pass it on and enjoy it together. From the barista making your coffee, to your co-worker, to your family members and anyone else you come in contact with; pass on the positivity.

Small actions can have big impacts.

Embrace the day!
Christina
Insta: @ciaturner/Twitter: @CTurner_Strong

So many good reads I can’t take it!  Soak is all the goodness with my favorite reads of the week!

Watch this YouTube video for an enormous does of inspiration and perspective. It’s 5 minutes long. Worth a watch.How to Judge Your Life Using 3 Simple Questions | Brendon Burchard

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Friday Fuel! Focus (Part 3)

Happy Friday!

I hope everyone had a restful and happy holiday! It’s the last Friday of 2017 (crazy!) and the final message of this 3-part Fuel series on living a focused life.

Over the last three weeks I’ve summed up what it means to live a life of focus. First; you must focus on what you can control and second; you must focus on what you have. Once again, timing is on point and this week’s message coincides with the New Years perfectly. So here it is, the third and final focal point…

3. FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS.

It’s that time of the year – one of my least favorites – New Years. I love heading into a new year and the excitement of all it has to offer but I’m not a fan of New Years resolutions. Right now everyone is focused on their short comings, weakness and pitfalls and how they are going to turn it all around in 2018. I say, f- that. Focus on your strengths and what you are good at, not the negatives. Don’t waste time and energy focused on your downfalls, instead play to your strengths. Continue to develop and own the things you are best at and use them to live a good life.32d67723-9b1d-4b08-881c-193d2f6ff277.jpg

We all have strengths, it’s just a matter of discovering what they are and then leaning into them. When our values and strengths align we find meaning and purpose in our life – so focus on this, not the opposite.

Discover your strengths and align them with your values. That is the only resolution you’ll need for the rest of your life.

As you head into 2018, embrace focus in your life and remember to focus on what you can control, what you have and your strengths.

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Embrace the day and cheers to the new year!
Christina

Friday Fuel! Focus (Part 2)

Happy Friday!

It’s Friday, it’s a long weekend AND Christmas is 3 days away. FriYAYYYYY!!!!!

I kicked-off a 3 part Fuel series on focus last week. To recap – I talked about my theory that we can “live a focused life” by intentionally developing the right mindset. I’ve summed up what it means to live a life of focus with three key focal points. The first and most important focal point I shared last week is the ability to focus on what you can control. This week’s focal point coincides well with the time of year and the holiday season…so here we go!

2. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE.

It’s easy to get caught up in comparison mode and focus on all the things others have that you don’t. Today’s message is simple; instead of focusing on what everyone around you is doing and/or has, turn inward and appreciate all that you have in your life. A grateful mind will take you far.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”.

Your happiness is not dependent on other people or material possessions. Embrace gratitude and appreciation for all you have in your life.

Gratitude is everything. Focus your mind on all the good things in your life and all that you have; from the cup of coffee in the morning to the bed you sleep in, to the air you breathe in and out. Good or bad; everything you have in life has purpose and meaning in your journey.  Every day and every breath is a blessing.

Until next week (part 3!)….

Embrace the day!
Christina

Insta: ciaturner
Twitter: CTurner_Strong

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Friday Fuel! Focus (part 1)

Happy Friday!

It’s the most wonderful tiiiiiiime of the week! TGIF!

Today I’m kicking off a three part series on the topic of focus. Stay with me here; read on. Stay focused. 😉

I know that’s hard for some of you reading today’s Fuel, my personal theory is that the ability to focus is a skill. We aren’t born with the focus gene (not a thing!) or inherently possess a natural ability to focus. It’s a skill, a skill that takes time and intentional effort to develop. Like a muscle – it can be strengthened, developed or lost.

I’m also thinking of focus in broader terms here – I’m not talking about the ability to keep your attention on a task or get something done – I’m talking about focusing on your life and what that means.

I’ve been thinking about focus the last couple weeks and what it means to live a focused life. As I’ve jotted down my thoughts it lead me to the conclusion that there are three areas of focus that can make or break your life.  Okay – I know that’s a little intense – but it seriously can! Focusing on the wrong shit or the dumb shit can take us off course and lead us down a path we don’t want to go.

So  let’s kick our focus chat off with the first and most important focal point we need to embrace.

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL.

Every day a is filled with millions of uncontrollable moments. Accept that. It’s simple; we can’t micromanage every minute of every day. You can’t control the weather, other people (!!!), traffic, the time, your kid shitting himself two minutes before you need to leave the house for work (true story) and the list goes on.

Focus on what you can control. You CAN control your mindset; your attitude, your perspective, your actions. It all starts here.

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, get your mind right. Focus on that and your life will be a lot easier and happier.

Until next week (part 2!)….

Embrace the day!
Christina

Insta: ciaturner
Twitter: CTurner_Strong

Friday Fuel! Fuel for Thought

Happy Friday!

Let’s try something really quick. I want you to think of a woman you work with professionally. It can be someone you admire and respect or someone yo

u can’t stand to work with.

Got someone in mind? Now I want you to describe them? You can even write down 3 to 5 words that you think describe this person.

Ready…Set…Go!

No, really – do it!

What did you come up with?! How did you describe said woman? Did you use words like warm, kind, beautiful, sensitive, sweet, aggressive, bitchy, bossy…?

 

I pose the question because how we talk to and about one another is important. We need to champion and advocate for one another and it starts with how we talk about other women in front of other people (men, women, children, animals, whoever!). We can only do so much to change the perceptions and gender expectations on women. Something we CAN control – how we talk about women. If we are reinforcing that take charge women are bitchy and aggressive then that societal perception will not change. Let’s use words like assertive, leading, direct. Sure, women can be jerks too, I’m not talking about those women – I’m talking about the women who aren’t afraid to speak up, take charge and hold you accountable. Men who do these things are labeled “leaders” and “great managers” – however women get labeled as bossy, bitchy and aggressive.

Let’s each do our part to end this.

 

Here are some words to describe the women you love: intelligent, brilliant, leading, assertive, empowered, self-aware, conscientious, entrepreneurial, innovative, creative, determined, organized, collaborative, decisive, direct. These are just a few!

The reality – you’re not going to like everyone and everyone is not going to like you, but we can still talk about one another with respect. Instead of bad mouthing a female colleague to others, try giving them critical feedback to their face. Cut out the work drama and start having candid conversations with respect.

Here are some words to use when talking about a women (or any person) you might not love so much: challenging, assertive, direct, difficult, determined, independent, forthright…just to name a few.

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Words matter. Use them intentionally.

Embrace the day!
Christina
Insta: ciaturner
Twitter: CTurner_Strong

Friday Fuel! Who are you spending your time with?

Happy Friday!

It’s a beautiful day! 

I’m headed back to Eastern Connecticut this weekend to celebrate my teammate and best friend, Ashley, as she gets inducted into the Hall of Fame (she’s kind of a big deal). I’m super excited to see Ashley, my former teammates, coaches and family and feel so fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. It’s a great reminder that people matter and that we need to hold onto the good people who help us become the best version of ourselves. 

Someone shared the book passage below with me and it couldn’t be more timely as I head back to the old stomping grounds and reconnect with the amazing people I spent a whole lot of time with during my formative college years.


In college, Ashley, my other teammates and I spent pretty much every waking moment together. I’m so thankful for that time because they brought so much joy and laughter to my life, called me out when I needed a wake-up call and made me a better person. 

The people we surround ourself with is so important. Motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, says we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with and I couldn’t agree more. Whether we like it or not we are greatly influenced by the people in our lives and the ones we spend the most time with. We are all our own person but the people we spend time with can influence how we feel, our self-esteem, the decisions we make and so much more.

So who are your five? Do they bring good vibes to your life or bring you down? 

Hold onto the good people in your life and be a source of happiness, positivity and support for them like they are for you.

Oh, and those people who are bringing you down. RUN! Figure out your exit strategy and spend way less time around them.

Embrace the day!
Christina

Instagram: @ciaturner and @friday_fuel

Twitter: @cturner_strong

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Puppies and babies! Oh yeahh!