Happy International Women’s Month! I think it’s only one day but I’m gonna go ahead and stretch this day over the entire month of March – because, why not? Women are AWESOME – let’s celebrate that as long as possible! Woop Woop!
Have you every wanted to start your own business? Quit your job and move on? Start a new project? Talk to someone you admire?
But you didn’t. You didn’t go for it or do anything. You just continue to dream about it…
Are you wondering whats holding you back? I’ve got a pretty good guess as to what that is….FEAR. Fear is f*cker that paralyzes us and holds us back from pursuing our goals. Fear of failure, fear of looking bad, fear of risk, fear of not being good enough, fear of rejection…the list goes on.
Fear is the one thing that makes dreams impossible to achieve – Paulo Coehlo
When we truly want to do something and don’t – deep down it’s fear that is holding us back. We don’t realize it because we try to rationalize all the reasons why we shouldn’t do what it is we want. We give ourselves concrete reasons as to why we shouldn’t pursue that new job, start our own business, talk to someone, etc. What those reasons actually represent is our deep seeded fears and insecurities. Our mind and body is literally on the defense to not let us experience any pain or discomfort. Fear comes with a lot of physiological and psychological responses that trigger our body to get back to a “safe place” and avoid the anxiety.
Fear is not something that we are born with – we learn fear and develop our fears through lived experiences. Don’t you remember as a kid jumping out of that tree or rollerblading down a steep hill with no fear! Or when we were young and did and said what we wanted – we had no filters – we just said what was on our mind. Those were the good old days! Today, we fear it all – most of all, those things that could open us up to rejection and the negative opinions of others.
For me; my fears are just that – I fear not being good enough and fear uncertainty. It’s held me back in many instances but now that I know where my fear is coming from, I can sit with it and acknowledge that the thoughts coming into my head are my bullsh*t fears trying to hold me back.
What drives your fear?
The best piece of advice I’ve heard lately about overcoming fear was to take action. DO – don’t over think. Taking action against our fears is the only way to overcome them. I’ve learned that there are three actions we can take to overcome our fears and move forward with our dreams and goals:
- Call out your fears. When you come up with an idea or goal you want to pursue and you start to have those negative thoughts and excuses creep into your head – call them out. Write them down and acknowledge them. Figure out what is driving your fear and then give it the middle finger and move on. 🙂
- DO something – take action. GO, GO, GO! Don’t sit on it and wait, find something right away you can do to move one step closer to your goal. Think of it this way; you’re never going to be 100% ready so just get going.That first step is the most important. See a job you want to apply for – start writing the cover letter. Want to ask for a raise? Start planning out your negotiation points. Be a DO-ER not a thinker.
- Tell someone. Put it out into the universe. Tell someone you love and trust what you want and the fears you are trying to overcome. By telling someone; you are, in a small way, taking a step in moving forward on your goal or overcoming your fear.
If we don’t acknowledge what drives our fear and take action against them – then our fears will steer the direction of our life. That alone scares me enough to do something.
Fear is bullsh*t – live the life you truly dream of.