It’s a beautiful day! Freezing cold here in Central New York (-9 degrees) but still beautiful!
We are all compare ourselves to other people – it’s human nature. We measure our own success and self worth based on what others are doing and what society around us is praising. It’s a trap that we have all fallen into that leads us to losing track of who we are and what we value.
Simply put: comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and energy. The time you are spending comparing to someone else is time you could be working on YOURSELF! Sure, we all have role models and professional aspirations but those should serve as source of inspiration, not a bench mark or measurement of how successful we are personally. Everyone’s journey is his or her own and we have to stay true to our self and our own personal values and passions to truly feel joy and fulfillment.
The younger me constantly compared herself to what others were doing and achieving. As an athlete, I was trained to be competitive and took that mentality outside of the game and constantly compared myself to others. I wanted to be as good as the student getting the A’s in class, the basketball player with better stats and recognition, one of the rich kids, the beautiful girl that every guy wanted…I wanted perfection. Constant competition and comparison was stressful and made me miserable trying to be as good as, or better, than everyone else. It took me a while but I learned that we can’t be anyone but ourselves and living a life of comparison will only lead to let downs and unhappiness.
Your life changes when you let go of comparing yourself to others and embrace yourself and your journey. It’s not easy to do with our peers, society and the media constantly telling us what is greatness, success and beauty – especially as it pertains to women. The expectations are unrealistic for us to be the perfect women – beauty, brains, sexy, put together, successful, assertive (but not too assertive), great mom, great wife, funny, the list goes on… Check out this stellar read on “the perfect woman” from Men’s Health (CAUTION: may cause vomiting.)
As I have gotten older, it is the awareness and acknowledgement of these unrealistic expectations and bullshit standards that re-framed my attitude and mindset. I could see how society was demanding perfection of women (and not men) while pinning us against one other as competitors rather than allies. Trying to meet and exceed these standards was setting me up for a very unhappy life.
The sooner we can see through this, acknowledge the unrealistic expectations and give it the middle finger – we will all be better off. So ladies, stop comparing yourself to others and focus on you versus you. Our goal should be to bring our best self forward every day. Success is personal, so define it for yourself instead of letting others define it for you. Figure out what means most to you and get better every day.
Personal experience and emotion inspired this week’s Friday Fuel post and I managed to stumble across a couple articles that were a perfect compliment to what I am writing on. Check out this read on Success.com:4 Steps to Stop Comparing Your Success to Others’ and this witty blog on Huffington Post: How to Be the Perfect Woman.
Comparison is the thief of joy. – Theodore Roosevelt
Chumlee’s weekly glamour shot by the Christmas tree. He loves the holidays!
Embrace the day!